Bad Faith
by Aprilsummer
Summary: Draco Malfoy's 7th year at Hogwarts had his head and heart spinning. What happened behind magical doors that year? Draco helping the DA? Draco falling apart or coming together? Draco/Luna, Draco/Ginny.
1. Loony Luna

It wasn't easy, walking away from the battle. I felt as thought I was neither victorious nor defeated.

I didn't want the Dark Lord to win.

No, but I didn't want to be at the mercy of bloody Harry Potter either.

So I sat there on either side of my parents, my mother with her shaking hands clasped together in her lap, and my father staring ahead at the scenes of love, friendship, victory, dancing before him, but his eyes were unmoving, his face bore the marks of Voldemort's (Yes, I can call him that now that he's DEAD) wrath, and I, I sat motionless. We were silent, silent in both our silent joy of reuniting, and silent in our quiet defeat as both a Death Eater family, and a respected family.

There was a burning in the pit of my stomach, a burning behind my eyes, a dizzying warmness that threatened to overwhelm me. When had I last slept? I didn't know, I couldn't say.

I closed my eyes, the only movement I felt my mind and body capable of, and I fell asleep on my mother's shoulder. When we left Hogwarts the next day, father went into question. He returned a free man, on probation, he gave names, lists, every bit of information they wanted. He saved our family, but I couldn't look at him as a hero.

He has failed as a Death Eater, a father, and a respectable human being. What am I to say about him? Thanks for selling out the last of your murdering friends so you could avoid jail and we could avoid another public scandal. Thanks for being a Death Eater and almost allowing the Dark Lord, no fuck that- almost allowing VOLDEMORT to kill me for you foolishness under his reign, but sentencing me to KILL my headmaster.

My life, so sweet as a child, adored and cared for, rich and privileged had become nothing short of a nightmare since my the return of Voldemort, since the return of this war, my life took a downward spiral, suffering months of time devoted to killing an innocent old man, an honest headmaster, and public humiliation, family scandalous, forced upon the company of my insane aunt Bellatrix and her weirdo husband.

I was forced to learn from idiot Death Eaters, you know the Carrows, forced to watch my father fall out of favor with Voldemort, forced to see him suffer, forced to watch the toll it took on my mother.

Forced to owe my life to my nemesis Harry Potter, and his two fucking dirty blooded cronies.

I do think that my father ruined the last two years of my youth. My father and Voldemort.

And for what? I am graduated now, I face a world full of endless depths, and where do I turn?

I turn back, I remember the moments that made me feel alive

The moment I first met Loony Luna Lovegood

The moment I first protected Dumbledore's army from the Carrows

The moment I first kissed Ginny Weasley and she ran away crying.

The moment I spent all night in the Hogs Head, talking to the bartender, my whole life's story pouring out of my drunken lips, tears welling in my eyes.

Before I can move forward, I know I must look back.

I first met Luna, really met her I mean, in September of my seventh year. She's strangely pretty, in the way she is strangely endearing.

And it was she who approached me, while I sat alone in the library, my hands covering my face while my transfiguration book lay open before me, beside a letter from my mother, and closed books on charms and potions.

"Hello Draco Malfoy," She said in a dreamy voice.

"Hello crazy," I replied as I opened my eyes to see her pale face and light hair lingering over me, "Can I help you with something?"

"I was thinking, perhaps I could help you," She smiled, a vague far off smile and sat beside me, "Do you mind?"

"That depends on what you're about to say," I replied, rubbing my temples vigorously.

"I wanted to offer you redemption," she said bluntly, a smile still lingering upon her thin dreamy lips.

"I don't want your bloody redemption are you even pureblood?" I snapped furiously, closing my transfiguration book with a loud bang, and reaching for my bag below my feet, ready to throw all my books into its contents and finishing the mountain of the first week's homework in the greenish glow of my common room.

"I am," She shrugged, "But that's hardly relevant."

"Wake up and smell the butter beer, Lovegood, it's all that's relevant these days," I retorted coldly, throwing book after book into my bag, each one with a little more force, hating my homework as much as I was hating the conversation.

"You don't sound happy with the new regime for the son of a Death Eater," She noted, looking up at me with wide, almost startling blue eyes.

"What the bloody hell do you know?" I demanded in a low voice to avoid being reprimanded by the ever vigilant Madame Pince, "You're some bitch they call Loony Luna Lovegood."

"And they call you a pathetic wizard, a pathetic Death Eater, and a washed up nobody," She replied, not coldly, but In a tone that was absurdly soft, "But I'm still here with you, aren't I?"

"Unfortunately," I snapped, pocketing my mother's letter and making a move to stand before she grabbed my wrist, gently leading me back into my seat before I could throw my book bag over my shoulder and bolt from the exit, from this conversation, from the truth.

"You don't want war," She said in a matter of fact tone, "You want peace, for yourself, your friends, and your family."

"How in the bloody hell do you know what I want?" I replied, my anger abating into exhaustion.

"I can see it in your eyes, Draco Malfoy," She smiled slightly, "You know Mal foi in French means bad faith?"

"That's nice," I replied indifferently.

"Why don't you try and live up to something else?" She suggested gingerly, and handed me a coin, a large gold galleon.

"What is this for?" I demanded, taking the money, regarding it puzzled, "I don't need gold, little girl."

"Its no ordinary galleon." She grinned now, looking madder than ever, 'if you want a chance, accept it. If you want to live the life of the ignoble, drop it on the table and leave."

I remained rooted in the spot, my hands clutching the galleon tightly for reasons entirely unknown to me, "Now what?"

"You'll just have to see, won't you?" She grinned and stood, looking down at me fondly, 'I have good faith in you, mister bad faith."

"How comforting," I drawled, rolling my eyes, the galleon clutched so tightly, my palm began to ache, my confusion making me dizzy.

"I'll be seeing you," She said, in a voice that had every air of a promise, and then she practically floated out of the room, and if it weren't for the galleon I held onto so fervently, I could have sworn it was some bizarre dream.

But no, I had merely started the beginning of the end.

I have so much to explain, so very much the world will never know about that last year at Hogwarts, if you can even call it Hogwarts under Death Eater instruction.

I sighed in the library. It was all so foggy, but one thing was clear, bitterly clear

There was more than magic in the air- there was change.

AUTHORS NOTES:

Hope this is an intriguing beginning

Please read and review, it means so much!

Love,

Your devoted author


	2. Wish Upon A Star

My Manor, my home if you will, was being used as the base for Voldemort's reign. Ironic, he was growing to depise my whole family, yet it was in our bloody house where he set up camp. Sycophants and psychopaths running in and out all the time, reporting for Voldemort, bringing in Mudbloods. Mother wrote me about the chaos, even her letters sounded exhausted.

And Snape strolled around Hogwarts like he owned the damn place. I suppose as Headmaster, yes, he held a certain degree of power, but no one OWNS Hogwarts. No one OWNS knowledge. But tell Snape that. Or don't, because he's dead. But go back in time and try to tell him.

The funny part is, he was always Dumbledore's man, from the very beginning.

And I wonder, if I was Dumbledore's man too.

That's why I couldn't kill him.

He was right there, before me. I remember that look in his eyes, his piercing blue eyes, that look that should have shown terror only showed pity. Not self pity, oh no. Pity for me, the man who had the goddamn wand, the man with the power. He pitied the man who was about to kill him.

Because he knew all along I never could. Never would. Did he pity me for being put in that situation? Did he pity me for my inability to strike him down? I hate pity. Fuck it.

I have nightmares, still, about that look of pity he cursed me with. I have nightmares about his long white hair blowing in the wind over the tower. Nightmares of all the Death Eaters appearing, encouraging, nightmares when Snape commits that final curse, the last curse Dumbledore would ever see.

And I bloody cried over that. Don't you dare judge me, I'm sure you cried too, and you weren't THERE. You didn't hear him… Severus Please… his voice haunts my nightmares to this day, even now that I know he was begging for death. Begging for death, beginning for life, it makes no difference anymore, because I saw him die.

The thestrals were real this year. I mean I know they were always real, but is anything really real to you unless you can see it? Sense it? Believe in it? They became real.

They weren't pretty.

They reminded me of people who return from Azkaban alive. There's a glow in their eyes, but everything else seems dead. Everything about them seems wrong, seems like they shouldn't be alive, and yet just by existing, they emit this tragic sort of sickening beauty.

But I digress.

The point is, it was a shitty start to a year. A monstrous evil villain had taken refuge in my home, my headmaster was a prat, my friends had become obsessed with the Dark Arts and Death eaters… things of which they couldn't, didn't understand, and I felt… far too alone for someone who was always surrounded by people.

It was for all of these reasons perhaps that I didn't even question whether or not I was t aqueisce to the mysterious note I received two evenings after my encounter with Luna. I'd honestly been waiting for something, for anything, and then it came- a tiny hyper owl tapping at my window.

It flew in enthusiastically, its tiny wings waving as I detached the letter from its foot, gave him an owl treat and sent him on his way with a cheerful hoot.

"Astronomy tower

Tomorrow

9PM

Don't Think."

I didn't need to be told twice not to think. I was trying, ever desperately to avoid that incessant human function, but what could I do to escape my own thoughts?

I thought/

And I wondered, whose feminine script had written the note? Whose cheerleader owl had delivered it so enthusiastically? Why me?

I could barely focus in transfiguration, but McGonagall seemed preoccupied with the Carrow sister interrupting her lesson to drag out Colin Creevey for "detention" that involved the practice of Dark Curses, older students, and Creevey tied up in a body bind, tied up in paralysis. I felt a little sick. Unnecessary. All of it.

So what made this journey the tower necessary? The very fact that everything else around me was unnecessary.

So I went, each step felt like a step higher, a step towards the stars, a step away from my Slytherin dungeon, a step away from Crabbe, and Goyle and the mounting rumors of my father's fall from the Dark Lord's grace. As if the Dark Lord ever had any grace. Ha.

At the top of the tower, the tower where Dumbledore had died for Voldemort's hatred, for my father's mistakes, for Snape's loyalty, for my own cowardice, the memories threatened to floor back, to bring me to my nears, to make me see those blue eyes.

Instead, a pair of brown eyes fixed upon me as I reached the landing.

"Make a wish," Ginny Weasley said, her tone and expression entirely blank, "The sky is full of stars tonight. You can see them all if you look, the constellations of Sirius, of Bellatrix, the North Star. Take your pick, make a wish."

I wished for the past. I closed my eyes, remembering the days when everything came so easily, remembering the first 15 years of my life. But when I reopened them, there was only the present. The present, the stars, and I supposed, the future.

"What am I doing here?" I asked her, wishing there was somewhere to sit, a sofa atop the Astronomy tower would seem so convenient right about now, I mused.

"Ask yourself that," She smiled slightly, her face the same pale hue as the moon, her hair vibrant in the starlight. She looked a bit like an angel. A blood traitor angel, sure. But whatever.

"The letter said don't think," I reminded her casually, "To ask myself would be to think."

"You're here because you're one of us now," She replied confidently, "Or at least, that's what I'd like to believe. Dumbledore believed the best in people, so as members of his army, we try and do the same. Do you believe the best in yourself, Draco Malfoy?"

"I guess," I shrugged, not thinking about what that would really mean.

"I hope you're guessing right then," She said a bit harshly, standing beside me as we surveyed the sky above instead of the grounds below. We both looked up as if for answers, instead of down, down where he fell, down where his body lay, lifeless, askew, destroyed. I shuddered.

"What do you ask of me?" I inquired, trying to keep my thoughts together, on the present, on this moment.

"The best of you." She answered simply, "We need help to evade discovery, we need distractions, we need someone on the inside, we need assistance."

"You need protection," I sighed, running my hands through my light hair and turning to face her, "Yeah, I get it. You're fighting back, you and Luna, and whoever else is brave- or stupid enough, to risk everything for a dream. And yeah, I'm in. I'm about to risk whatever I have left in exchange for everything I could lose. I'm in. I'll protect your silly group. I'll protect the dreams of the innocent, the hopes of the hopeful. I'll do what I can."

"I thought as much," Ginny looked a bit relieved none the less, "I ask you one favor tonight."

"I thought as much," I smirked.

"We're having a meeting, our first of the year tomorrow," She explained.

"You want me to attend?"

She laughed, not sounding amused at all, "No. Never. You are never to attend. It is only Luna and I who know of your involvement and that is how it shall stay. You are not to attend meetings, you are not to know all our secrets. You are to serve us from the outside, because you're already on the inside of the otherside."

"Whatever," I frowned, "Your meetings are a bunch of mudbloods and blood traitors swapping stories of how brave Potter is, and how much the Dark Lord sucks, I get it. And I'm not a part of that world. Nor, honestly, would I want to be."

"What world are you in?" She tilted her head to the side curiously.

"Both?" I sighed, "Neither? I'm outside of everything. I'm looking in."

"Well, keep those pretty eyes open then," She laughed, "Now, the favor… I need you to ensure the Carrows are entertained tomorrow night. Host a party, start a club, ask them Death Eater trivia, but keep them happy and keep them occupied."

"Yeah, easy enough," I shrugged, planning on asking Slughorn to have a staff meeting because the Carrows were having too many detentions during study hours. He'd agree. I knew it before I asked.

"And Snape…" She started

"I can take care of that too," I rolled my eyes, "Don't even worry about him, he's distracted. It's the Carrows, they're the ones to be concerned with. Except for tomorrow, of course, you're covered. But won't your little army wonder, after they've exhausted the topics of how very fashionable Harry's glasses are, and how cool his left elbow is, why they're so lucky all the time?"

"You plan on assisting us all the time?" She actually grinned. Her eyes sort of sparkled. Like stars of their own.

"If you're going to do something, you do it right," I drawled, rolling my eyes, feeling more like Draco Malfoy than I had in ages, "Don't Gryffindors know anything?"

"I am going to ignore that last comment," She narrowed her eyes briefly, "And just thank you for your support. And no, they won't wonder, they'll just thank these lucky stars."

"If you have too many Ravenclaws, they might ask questions," I reminded her.

"We have Luna to distract them," She shrugged, unconcerned, "Luna and I- we appreciate this. It's important, vital even, to the DA. And the DA is important, vital even, to the moral that's left, to the hope that lingers… with Harry."

"Yeah, great," I started towards the exit, not wanting to discuss Harry Potter, beacon of hope to the poor, mudbloods, oppressed, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, the weak, the useless, the people I was supposed to want dead. The people I was sick of watching scream and die in my own home. The people who were destroying my life as their lives ended, for my home was now a slaughterhouse, my father the slave to a revolution that was headed nowhere, and I was the slave to the situation. The situation I would now to my part to end.

I wanted my life back, is that so much to ask? Just the status fucking quo.

"Normally when peopled are thanked, they reply with 'you're welcome'," Ginny commented, not moving from where she stood, rooted on the stone floor of the tower, her eyes locked on the sky.

"Normally Draco Malfoy doesn't conspire with Gryffindors," I shrugged carelessly, "Normally, Death Eaters don't run Hogwarts. Normally, we wouldn't need this Dumbledore's Army, because we'd have Dumbledore. And normally, we'd be ignoring each other. Who cares about normalcy anymore? It died with Cedric Diggory."

"You're an optimistic one, aren't ya?" She laughed as I crossed the tower, ready to desend the stairs, back to where I should belong.

"Tell me, Weasley, what does it feel like to know exactly where you stand?" I asked, wondering where I should be right now, or tomorrow, or the next day, or next year.

"Beautiful and frightening." She smiled, not at me, but at her destiny, "How does it feel to be free for the first time? How does it feel to be liberated from all your constraints? How does it feel just to exist?"

"Lonely," I answered honestly, but without emotion, "And exhilarating when I don't think too hard. Anything is possible for me now, isn't it?"

"The best or the worst," She grinned, "But that's the fate we all accept in the DA"

"So I am a member?" I frowned, "Sort of?"

"Entirely," She corrected me, finally turning around, our eyes met for a second, "But don't let it get to your head."

"Fat chance," I smirked and disappeared, beyond the tower, beyond the stairs, home to Slytherin.

Home?

Home is where the heart is. My heart just beat on, just wandered on.

They say not all who wander are lost.

Well, clearly some of them are. And they would very much like a map, or a compass, or a fucking tour guide.

I counted my heart beats as I fell asleep. They sounded almost like footsteps, as though my heart was physically searching, physically wandering on a journey of its own.

What a stupid thought.

I rubbed my eyes. Hard. I saw black when I closed them, when I wanted to see nothingness, the sweet embrace of slumber, the comfort of solace.

I thought back to fourth year briefly, to my badges that read "Potter Stinks" and back to cursing Ron into burping slugs, and back to walking around, no strutting around with Crabbe and Goyle fifth year, owning the goddamn place.

Was it all a bloody dream?

And if not, if it was real, why does it feel so far away?

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times

I knew I wasted my wish that night, wishing for the past, when my focus should be the future. No one peaks at 15, I reassured myself, but I felt a bit dizzy.

Questions, doubts, fog. As if I was being followed by a dementor.

Oh, the best and the worst.

That is how they both began.

Author's Notes:

Is anyone reading? Lol

Hope so =]

Read and review? Please? Haha. Anyway, I hope this is enjoyable so far, the excitement is to come.

Love,

Your devoted author.


	3. The Truth About Freedom

Distracting the already distracted abominations of teachers entitled the Carrows was easy. They had meetings on different times and days, I would receive word of them through the fake galleon Luna had left me with after our first meeting.

September passed in a haze. I defended the cause I hated, and tried to avoid the cause I pledged my life to. It didn't feel like Hogwarts anymore. It didn't feel like anywhere.

Crabbe and Goyle were becoming good students, at least in the dark arts. They had a particular affinity for the criuciatus curse. What a grand old talent, boys, you are stellar at being unforgivable. When I told them that, Goyle scratched his big dumb head, as though I had confunded him (as if that were necessary) and Crabbe told me to man up. He reminded me of our power under Umbridge, the inquisitorial squad. He swore that this was the same thing, only better, more power, more freedom for destruction.

But we were not free at all. We were bound by the shackles of the revolution. We were bound by Death Eaters instead of common laws of decency. We were also bound y something, I have never been free in my life.

I was chained to protecting Dumbledore's army as I had not protected Voldemort. I was chained to the Dark Mark burned on the pale flesh of my arm. I was chained to the love of my family, the resentment for all I used to adore. I was chained to myself.

I was never free a day in my life. But that September I felt like a prisoner to two causes, the right and the wrong, and I didn't know which was which, but I tortured first years with Crabbe and Goyle. I protected every fucking meeting of Dumbledore's Army. And I think I stopped sleeping, because I walked around in a daze. And I may have stopped eating because I walked around with a stomach ache.

"Draco, what's been wrong lately?" Pansy Parkinson cooed at dinner, on the last evening of that endless September where the Great Hall was dark, threatening rain, and the candles glowed with cursed green fire, casting the glow of Slytherin on every face in the hall. But the Gryffindors merely looked fierce in their green hue, challenging, waiting. Longbottom had a new air to him, the air Potter used to carry with him, the air of certainty. The air I hadn't breathed in months.

"Nothing," I shrugged staring absentmindedly at the uneaten meat pie before me, "Do you ever wonder what its all for?"

"What what is all for?" She frowned.

"This," I shrugged, motioning towards the entire Great Hall, but meaning our entire existence.

"Its for eating, Draco," She said slowly, looking extremely concerned for my sanity, "This is where we eat."

"I'm not daft, do I look like a bloody Hufflepuff?" I rolled my eyes, "Ask the Carrows to conjure you up a brain, Pansy,"

"Would it kill you to be a little nice every once in a goddamn while?" She snapped back.

"It would kill us all depending on who we're being nice too, have you not noticed we're at war?" I sighed heavily, knowing I was venturing to topics beyond her limited comprehension.

"Not with each other, Draco-" She bit her lip, "I love you, you arrogant, moody, idiot!"

"Thanks," I almost laughed.

She blushed, "I didn't mean to say it that way, or here, or now…"

"Well what's done is done," I replied casually, knowing only that one concept with certainty. I stood up, without having taken a single bite of food, and threw my book bag over my shoulder, yawning widely, "I'm going to the library, I have homework."

"That's your response?" She looked highly offended.

"My response was 'Thanks,' if you're referring to your amusing outburst of so-called love, more likely an acute infatuation you've harbored for years and mistook for love." I drawled, feeling a bit like myself, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

I walked out of the great hall, trying to stifle a yawn, but I didn't go to the library. I walked towards the Gryffindor tower, and upon sight of the fat lady I hid behind a suit of armor and waited, waited for Luna to walk by on her way to Ravenclaw or for Ginny, for someone I could talk to, for someone who understood. Because, you see, I hadn't spoken to either of them in weeks, despite my constant efforts on their ungrateful behalves.

It was Ginny who appeared first, accompanied by Longbottom and Finnegan, I pointed my wand at Ginny, splitting open her bag which sent her notebooks and quills flying. She shooed away Longbottom and Finnegan as she scrambled to retrieve her belongings and mend her bag. I waited a moment after the two boys entered the portrait hole, password "Rebellion", I mentally noted, before I made my appearance.

"Ah," realization dawned on her rosy cheeks, her dark eyes, "I knew it was a curse. This bag was new. Jerk. That'll be 4 galleons."

"Yeah, that's about as much as my quill costs," I smirked.

"Yes, haha the Weasley's are poor," She rolled her eyes irritably, "What do you want? To mock the amount of money my family has? Because, that's the last thing I have time for."

"No, I wanted-" I paused. I wanted someone to talk to, but fuck if she needed to know that, "I wanted some sort of recognition for all the work I've been doing for your stupid group. How ungrateful, I distract the enemy every meeting, and I don't receive a thank you note, a nice fruit basket, some thoughtful chocolates-"

"We appreciate it, Malfoy, but we've been a little busy to arrange fruit basket deliveries," She retorted coolly, "You know, trying to save our school is a bit of a commitment, a bit of a time sucker, if you can imagine, the world doesn't revolve around Draco Malfoy."

"That explains why I'm so dreadful at astronomy, you see I never realized that before," I replied with a smirk.

"You're infuriating," She sighed, picking up her mended back, "Is there something you want to talk about, or can I go to homework? I'm supposed to be writing an essay about methods to torture muggles for tomorrow you see, because the Carrows are out of their twisted little minds."

"Yeah, I want to talk about what your little group is doing," I said with a puffed up air of authority, a convincing imitation of my former self, my former self assurance, grace, wit, character, "If I am to continue aiding and abetting this illegal organization I would like to be made aware of its proceedings, as a member, I too am risking myself, and for what? You see, I don't know for what. Because if you're just writing a list of all the things you lot of idiots love about Potter, you know, number one- His mediocrity, number two, the way his hair is always messy, number three, how his glasses sparkle in the summer sun-"

"Oh shut up," She sighed, but I saw her mouth twitch. She almost smiled.

"You don't like the way his glasses sparkle in the summer sun?" I snickered, "How about in the autumn sun?"

"Look, we're just planning ways to take back a little control, to let the Carrows and Snape know we haven't just retreated, that we haven't given up Dumbledore's legacy to be paved over my a bunch of death hungry psychos. We plan ways to irk them, to rattle them, to unease their air of supremacy. We just want to fight back, in whatever ways we can while we wait for Harry-"

"While you wait for Harry to do what?" I laughed a bit coldly, "Come on his broomstick and save the day? To throw his glasses at the Dark Lord so they cut his throat? To be your bloody boyfriend again, Weasley? Is that what you're all waiting for?"

"Shut up, he's the one, the chosen one-"

"You don't know that," I said harshly, certainly, "You can't know that,"

"I believe it, I have faith-"

"Faith in a 17 year old boy whose on the run?" I was still laughing, "Faith in Harry Potter, after all this time? Faith in nothing. I don't get it, Potter worship, its foolish."

"You just hate him, you can't begin to understand-"

"You LOVE him, you can't begin to understand-"

"I know you won't stop helping us," Ginny interrupted, uprooting the subject from my least favorite Gryffindor, "I know you need this as much as we do. I know you need to do something, to find redemption, to find meaning, to make this messed up world into something more than bits and pieces of what your life used to be. You know your old reign is finished, you know you need a new start. This is it, this is your come back."

"You need it just to get through your day, just to know you're doing something, anything, while your family is in mortal peril. While your own life is at risk, while you wait and wonder if Potter is alive, if he's coming back, if he'll beat the Dark Lord. You need something to help you sleep at night, one reassuring thought in the midst of this war."

"Yeah," She agreed, her face softening a bit, "We need this. We both need it like oxygen."

"You need me, and I need you," I said slowly and I moved forward, without thinking and I kissed her.

She slapped me hard across the face, "I don't need that. I love Harry."

"Yeah, and where is he?" I demanded, rubbing my cheek gingerly, "off saving the world?"

"Yes," She shot back defiantly.

"How very noble," I drawled, "But where am I? I'm here. Protecting you now."

"Why do you want me?" Ginny scowled, "I'm a poor little blood traitor whose in love with your enemy."

"Because you're the only thing that makes sense right now," I replied, "Pansy Parkinson told me she loved me and I almost laughed. She can barely spell love, nevermind feel it, and she's a bitch who believes in what she doesn't understand. At least you understand your beliefs. You understand me."

"Maybe you should work on understanding me before you kiss me, understanding me enough to know that I'm NOT interested in anyone but Harry," She said, narrowing her eyes in anger, "I love him. I can spell love, I can feel love, and you? You're some fallen Slytherin. You're on the outside of both sides, looking in, but not quite fitting, but don't turn to me just because I understand-"

"No one else does," I said simply, and I kissed her again. She didn't slap me. She didn't pull away at first, our lips fit together.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into," She sighed,

"The last time I was told that was when I joined the Death Eaters," I laughed, not at all feeling amused, "I think I understand this a lot better than that."

"I belong to Harry," She said, trying to convince herself as much as me.

"How can you belong to someone who is gone?" I inquired, not coldly, but certainly without sensitivity.

"How can you belong to no one?" She shot back.

"I belong to myself, and who better to belong to than Draco Malfoy?" I drawled, smirking.

"Ugh," She cringed, "Get over yourself."

"Get over Harry."

"Fuck yourself." She snapped and whispered to the portrait hole that swung open.

"No kiss goodbye?" I teased as she looked back and our eyes locked.

"Just be glad there's no slap goodbye," She whispered, "I'll be seeing you. Keep you updated on our list of things we love about Potter. Number 4 is that he has great natural eyebrows."

"Can't wait to hear reason 5," I smirked.

"Can't wait to tell you," and with that, she was gone.

So, why did I kiss a Weasley? Why did I do anything? Because I was chained, chained to the one person who understood me. Because without her, I was entirely alone amidst one thousand people.

And that was getting lonely.

There was a time in my life when I was certain of certainy.

Now I'm only certain of uncertainty.

And then, when I believed I'd never kiss a blood traitor, I believed I'd never protect the gryffindors, I'd never hate the Dark Lord so implicitly, I'd never be apathetic about my friends, my father, my house pride.

So all I once believed is in the past.

And the present will be gone in a second.

So I look to tomorrow. And maybe I should give divination another try, because all I see is fog.

It had been a strange first month. It had been everything and nothing. It was the beginning, I realized, of something unheard of, of something wonderful and terrible. It was the start of war, the end of peace, and the first moments of my life as a prisoner to the otherside of the war. A prisoner to love instead of hate. A prisoner to believing instead of obligation. A prisoner to the heart instead of the mind.

Nothing made sense.

But it would one day I swore to myself, it would one day.

Author's Notes:

Is anyone reading? Lol.

Pls read and review, it would be so appreciated.

Thank you guys!!

-your devoted author.


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